My writing has gotten worse, my words don't speak. I think in blog form, and then I sit down and I draw a blank. Lately I am thinking about sinks and doors, paint colours and floors, and I like the shallowness of it. I am tired of thinking too much, and these decisions replace any deep thought.
Since Anise was conceived, nothing has importance anymore, and that is how it should be. But it takes a child to understand life, and life force. I guess we know it when we are young, and then we lose the ability to filter what is important. Or it is a sign of aging, fear of the fragility of life as we get nearer to death?
I am on the pill, and it makes my stomach balloon out, and it makes me tired, irritable, and depressed. Or is the pill just an excuse? It amazes me that so much can be going on and really all I care about is my stomach sticking out. Vanity is powerful.
Anise said the work "rainbow". 4 days ago I took out a rainbow puzzle, I am not even sure I told her it was a rainbow. 2 days later we saw one, a huge rainbow filled the sky. The next day she pointed to her bowl which has colours all around the rim, and she said "rainbow". There have been many magical moments lately, and I am thankful for that.
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