Transition

I belong to a mom's group, we meet every Tuesday evening for 2 hours. It is a "Waldorf inspired mom's group" led by a kooky woman who was a Waldorf instructor, is inspired by Magda Gerber, and is a midwife for baby clowns (see what I mean when I say kooky). But this group is great, full of six bright, passionate, dogmatic, strong, intelligent, articulate woman, all coming from different places with different stories. We all have kids similar in age. The goal of this group is to nurture moms. I love that concept. We belong to so many child centric groups, it is refreshing and inspiring to be focused on mothers.

We begin each meeting with a check-in. We all say where we are, what we have been thinking lately. No one answers we just all listen and then breathe. Last night I realized where I was, and where Anise is: we are in transition. A good transition. Anise is walking now, and besides being the cutest thing on earth, it is incredible watching how proud she is of herself, and how she is just opening up and enjoying her new skill, and new independence. I have so many questions about child rearing, about activities, about how to be. I finally have a place where those can be answered.

I am learning so much. I have been reading a bit, but taking things slow (having learned from my past experiences with trying to follow a method when it comes to children). I have not formed an opinion about Waldorf education, because I am learning about it in bits. I don't feel like reading Steiner right now, nor do I want to read about Anthroposophy. But I love the mood, the energy and the spirituality of this group. And I love the wisdom this woman imparts. People have been putting books into circulation, and last night I put my copy of Momma Zen into the pile. Interestingly enough the topic of guilt came up for the first time. I feel guilt is such a strong prevalent negative force among educated moms I was surprised it had never came up before. How relevant then, was Momma Zen. The answer we all gave (independently) for dealing with guilt was being present (and that is what Momma Zen is all about).

I have been thinking about approaches, and my approach with Anise. I have been changing mine a little bit. But now I am able to step back and know that there is no answer and no right way of doing things, and I am proud of myself for remembering that.