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Things change when they have to change. Anise has left me no choice but to make a change. Maybe she wants it, but it will be hard. I knew that nursing her to sleep somehow had to stop, I was hoping one night she would just roll over and fall asleep and that would be that. Instead she decided to bite me so much and so hard that nursing her to fall asleep is no longer an option. But she still wants to. She had a cold this week, her first big real cold. I thought it would be hell since her nose was too blocked to nurse, but she actually fell asleep without nursing a couple of times. It wasn't the milestone I was hoping for, it was more a sign of how sick she was feeling. Now that she is feeling better she wants to go back to her old ways. Well, not completely, she is nursing a lot less during the day. I could feel some "weaning" is starting to happen, and by her own choice. But how to get her to sleep is a mystery to me.

I need help. I need serious advice. I like advice, I take other people's advice when given, but I have not gotten any advice on this subject that actually helps, given the way things go, her habits and who Anise is.

The plan I have come up with is to do a sort of "pick up put down" baby whisperer thing, but lying down with Anise. I tried that today for Anise's nap, and it didn't go so badly, she actually seemed like she might fall asleep, and then she perked up and got really upset. At that point I decided to let her nurse and she did, she fell asleep and she was too tired to bite. So I thought that was a good beginning, I figured if she gets upset enough she will tire herself out a bit and then fall asleep quicker. So at 8:20 tonight I thought I would try it again. Forget it, she found a strong second wind and just when I thought she had cried enough and was ready, I nursed her and she bit me again! So I gave up, now she is playing upstairs (happily).

Tomorrow is Anise's birthday party, so it isn't the best night to be trying new things. Plus she still has remnants of her cold, another reason why the timing isn't so good. But now it doesn't even seem like I have a choice, I can't choose to do or not do anything, she is biting me, so there is nothing I can do. I will have to wait until she is tired enough, I guess my hopes for early bedtime are dashed. Plus I actually wanted to sneak out for one whole hour to go to a party tonight, I guess that won't be happening.

Why does it feel like I am the only person in the world who has had this particular pattern? Maybe because I am.

I don't think I have ever felt so alone. And incompetent. My husband has no idea that anything is even going on. This has become entirely my problem, and to make matters worse, Anise is in a phase where she won't even go happily to daddy, only me.

I am emotionless. I feel like crying but I can't cry. The only emotion I feel is anger and rage, directed towards guess who. I am channeling my fear and self-doubt to anger and resentment. Resentful that this has become my problem and not our problem. Anyway, what difference would it make if it were?

@%*&! This sucks!!!!!!!!

Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday hee hee. It brought me back to a year ago when I was wondering whether I would get a baby for my birthday. Instead of the 12th Anise chose the 21st. I love my birthday, and this year my husband wins best birthday husband award .

Thank you Isabel for your tag. I had some time to think about it. habits. What is a habit, something we do without noticing or thinking? Or something we feel we have to do? Or is a routine a habit?

A. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves.
B. At the end of the post, the player then tags people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

Some of my habits are:

Drinking Ricore every morning (it is a French drink - a mixture between instant coffee and chicory) I became addicted to it when I became pregnant and decided to go off coffee. Now I HAVE to have it in the morning or else, or else what?

Using ugly expressions like "I am going to kill you" or "I would have killed you", you know kill pronounced like ku-hill. My husband pointed it out to me this weekend, I think I say this a lot and it is an ugly thing to say, but I never would have even thought I said it if it hadn't been pointed out.

Another habit I have is speaking to my mother every morning. I have this need to call her, it starts my day. She sometimes annoys me, and I regret that I called, or she talks and talks and 20 precious minutes have gone by. But it makes me glad that I have a mother I can talk to every day.

I also have a habit of brushing my teeth too hard. And wrapping the blankets around myself so that no air (or person) can get in. And slouching, and pushing my fingers too hard on the holes of my flute, and not taking full breaths, and...

Ok, enough about that!!!! But I will tag:
Kelly at Happiness and Other Surprises
RocketMom at Exploring New Worlds

Let me get to my problem of the week: Anise has been biting, really hard while nursing. Does anyone know what to do? I have tried yelling, ignoring, talking nicely, putting pressure on her shoulders, pinching her cheeks, not allowing her to nurse anymore. It all ellicits the same response: a smile. I don't know what to do, and it is making it really hard to put her to sleep. Plus now she has a cold, so letting her cry is not an option. Any suggestions?

Tongue

Lat night Anise bit me. She bit me while nursing, with her 2 little bottom teeth sinking in. I know that they bite when they get older, but I thought 10 and a half months was a little young. I said a really firm "no" and she replied by giggling and showing her tongue, it is her latest trick, and it looks like this:


It was very hard not to laugh.